Challenging conversations take skills that teens need help to develop. Try this technique to model the skills and have an enlightening discussion along the way.
Begin with an open-ended question:
Tell your student that you want to try something new.
Ask a “tell me about” or “what do you think” question.
Listen carefully until you are sure they have finished.
Don’t interrupt
Leave a pause before you begin.
Take 10-30 seconds to think about what you heard.
Repeat back the key points.
Give them a chance to correct or clarify misunderstandings or to continue with their thoughts.
Continue back and forth until your teen feels heard and understood.
You don’t have to agree.
Simply acknowledge that you understand what they think when you feel that you do understand.
Return to the beginning of the process by asking your teen to give you the same opportunity to be understood.
Continue taking turns listening and talking.
Don’t forget to repeat back what you are hearing and offering one another a chance to correct misconceptions.
The Bellevue School District acknowledges that we learn, work, live and gather on the Indigenous Land of the Coast Salish peoples, specifically the Duwamish and Snoqualmie Tribes. We thank these caretakers of this land, who have lived and continue to live here, since time immemorial.
